“Old John Nobbs was one of those present. Going to funerals was quite a mania of his, and he attended every funeral he could for twelve miles round Ledbury.
“Confound it!” John would say, “if I don’t attend other people’s funerals they won’t come to mine.””
– J. F. Shaw Kennedy “The Youth of the Period”
Last week was marked by the funerals of two of America’s most cherished and accomplished citizens. The great Aretha Franklin was laid to rest in her hometown in a day long affair that featured music and eulogies from some of the most well known artists and dignitaries in the country. For the most part the event was one of celebration, reflection and faith, and with only a blip of controversy, as many took exception to the words of Rev. Jasper Williams, Jr., whose fiery speech included some rhetoric about the state of the black community in the U.S., including a reference to the inability of black women to raise their sons alone. Oh, and some other man of God insulted and then tried to grope Ariana Grande. But in the end, the funeral was for the most part, a fitting dedication to perhaps the greatest American singer of all time.
The other funeral this week however, did not occur with the same degree of harmonious tranquility. Senator John McCain was also paid homage to, in a tsunami of political division, vicious partisanship and lexical contemptuousness that rang more like an Antifa vs. Trump rally on a hot summer day with a lot of mosquitos biting and no police around, than a memorial service for the dearly departed.
However John McCain’s funeral is not where it started. The attacks on both sides of the ideological realm began at the first notice of the Vietnam War veteran and public servant’s death. Everyone knew the moment was coming, as McCain’s family had announced days before that doctors were discontinuing his cancer treatment. As the announcement was finally made of his passing, social media warriors all over the world got ready to pounce.
The trigger was of course, Donald Trump’s half-hearted tweet, lazily sending his condolences in 280 characters or less to the McCain family. No praise for his accomplishments, no official White House statement, and no attempt to assuage the two men’s contentious relationship with even a generic platitude about not always agreeing. Nope, it was just a simple, “I’m sorry for your loss”. The tweet was met with hell-bent outrage, as Democrats and liberals instantly morphed into the great defenders of the man who selected Sarah Palin as his running mate, a campaign that was the direct target of their ire and ridicule just a decade before. Trump was told to keep McCain’s name out of his mouth, and that he had no business even breathing the same air as the man who spent over 5 years in a North Vietnamese prison camp and who The President constantly insulted and mocked as they collided on the political stage while he was alive. Then as the days passed, the U.S. flag was lowered to half staff, then raised again, and then lowered again as one could almost picture Trump sneaking up to the White House roof in the middle of the night and chuckling to himself as he pulled on the ropes to raise it back up again. And then in a final denouement, unlike several of his living predecessors, Trump was neither invited nor clearly intended to attend McCain’s funeral. This was also met with disgust by his ever present detractors, as they posted split memes showing McCain’s funeral accompanied by a photo of The Donald knee deep in the rough wielding a 9 iron and working on his approach shot. Conservative pundits were not silent either however, as they roared with revulsion at the eulogists taking subtle pot shots at 45 during the ceremony. “A funeral is not the time or place for one to deliver political statements”, they opined with sanctimonious fervor.
So what do I make of all this tribalistic antagonism surrounding what was supposed to be the celebration of the life of a well-respected American war hero?
I for the most part, have no problem with it.
Let’s start with Donald Trump, and his refusal to say anything nice about McCain post-mortem, his defiance at releasing a White House statement, the whole flag thing, hitting the greens during the funeral, and finally calling out Meghan McCain for the content of her eulogy.
Classless? I’m not sure you could have any less class. But what about honest? Unfortunately, it’s that as well. We all know Donald Trump is not going to placate anyone and he’ll always be more than forthcoming about how he feels about those he despises, depending on who the flavour of the week is. John McCain was Trump’s enemy, through and through, no bones about it. The Senator pushed back on what he believed was an unethical menace in power, voting against his own party’s bills, and reprimanding the President’s lack of morality at every opportunity. So, Donald Trump hated his very being, hurling childish insults at the man, compensating for his lack of ability to speak from a place of intellect or dignity. I try to see the situation in the context of my own eventual demise or of someone who I am less than fond of. I have trouble hating anyone, it takes too much energy, but I am positive that there are those out there who have a firm disliking of me. Would I want them at my funeral? It wouldn’t bother me if they did decide to attend as perhaps they’ve mollified their disdain and saw me as a worthy opponent instead of a worthless son of a bitch. Would I attend the funeral of someone I disliked in life, and who I constantly butted heads with? If I worked closely with and knew that person for a long time, probably. Well, maybe unless I had a hockey game that day. The point is, Donald Trump was being who he is, a petulant child without a sense of humility. But, he was also being honest. For a left leaning part of society obsessed with his lies to the point of counting them in the Washington Post, you can’t throw this one on the list. Liberals have to realize they can’t have it both ways, and there’s a hypocrisy in admonishing Trump either way. One cannot in all truthfulness, castigate the man for faintly mentioning McCain’s name, and at the same time berate him for not attending the funeral. Besides, no one wanted him there anyway, he’s like that one bro out of your group of friends who shows up at the house party and everyone thinks to themselves, “Ah shit, not this fucking guy.”
Finally, eulogies. For those on the other side of the political stratum who were completely offended by the malfeasance of one incorporating an ideology into their tribute of the recently bereft of life, well guess what? This is nothing new. For hundreds of years, Pastors, Priests, Reverends, Rabbis and Imams have used the occasion of one’s cessation as a vehicle for evangelizing their divine agenda. Even for those who never purported to adhere to the beliefs being flung on to their loved ones after they’ve died, there always seems to be someone there attempting to convince you of what is happening to them in the afterlife. Most of the time without even knowing the person, and in other times, with a tasteless dose of self-indulgence. At least In the case of John McCain, I’m pretty confident that those who championed his world views throughout the commemoration, (including pot shots at The President) did so with accuracy. And I am all for it. When I finally do expire, I would hope that those who show up at the funeral make heartfelt speeches about how important objective truth and critical thinking were to me, and hopefully take ruthless shots at pseudoscience and the credulous, because those are the things I believed in while I was here. What better way to get a point across then at the moment of my death? Those who knew me best are welcome to harness the occasion and weaponized it honestly so that people, in their grief, can finally have an inkling of what I was about. Or just say whatever you want about me, it really doesn’t matter because I’ll be too busy not attending anybody else’s funerals.
